Did You Poop? (Because die Toilettenbürste ist Trocken)

Did You Poop? (Because die Toilettenbürste ist Trocken)

I have never been able to have a civil discussion about this with anyone but...
     Why is it that Europeans take a dry toilet brush and stir their shit around the bowl?

I know, I know ... this is a terrible way to go about a taboo subject matter but this discussion must be had. It has to be taken care of. We have to come to some sort of understanding. Because...

I do not want anyone coming into my home and using my toilet brush for whatever shenanigans sans cleaning solution and extreme hand washing. And I don't want to know that every restroom I enter has had a thrashing of a shit infused brush about the walls and floors. This is why I have a shoe free home and find myself decontaminating our guest bathroom every time we have a visitor. I cannot breast the conversation before having dinner. I cannot approach the subject when a guest asks to use the facilities. All I can do is avoid that damn bathroom until they leave and hope they just peed.

What about my adventures outside of my home? Am I supposed to assume that when I do number two in public (which I would never because I am a lady) I should use that communal toilet brush? Does that mean every man, woman and child that does "big business" has touched that brush handle with unwashed hands and stirred their deed up? How am I supposed to know that they used courtesy when doing this to avoid spraying the walls, the seat etc? How am I ever to enter a public restroom again knowing what that brush is used for?

Allow me to explain.

In America and possibly all over the Western Hemisphere we use the toilet and we DO NOT clean it after each use. Now if you have an embarrassing remnant and there is a brush available you might attempt to clean it but it isn't expected that you do. In a private home someone offers themselves as tribute to clean all toilets and they do not judge anyone in the household for their abandoned treasures. This person is usually a woman and she is obliged to clean as she wants it done right. The cleaning usually occurs weekly unless the person is OCD and prefers to do it more often. In a public space there normally is no brush available as it is considered unhygienic. Because when we clean a toilet we use a proper disinfectant. So to offer a brush without an additional bottle of whatever cleaning agent we do not believe the job is done. A professional custodian will clean throughout the day. And I know while some people may go into a public restroom and obliterate it but there are typically other stalls. So yes the uncleaned toilet awaits its professional attention and not the amateur and unclean brushing of the deed doer. If a brush is available it is usually soaking in a disinfecting cleaning solution or there is a bottle of "toilet bowl cleaner" nearby. If this is not available the pooper will kindly leave the restroom as is. Of course they will wipe, flush as much as they can to avoid leaving anything behind. However, attempting to clean using the brush is a huge no no.

In Europe a brush is provided in all public and private scenarios. It is expected that you use said brush to clean up after yourself. There will never be a cleaning agent provided or nearby as it expected that you will use flushing water to remove debris from the brush. However, with constant use of the brush by you, guests, others it will began to show wear & tear as well as actual pieces of shit. The only way to remedy this is to replace the brush often. The custodian will I assume clean both toilet and brush with a cleaning agent but there is no way to determine the ratio of use to cleaning. I know most Germans do not clean their toilets often as most private homes and public spaces offer a two and one toilet brush and and toilet tissue or toiletten papier solution usually littered in dust, hair and other "debris". The iconic white tiled bathroom is normally a great indication if someone is using the brush and not taking care in its use as there will be obvious splatter. I wash and disinfect the walls in my German bathrooms but I doubt anyone does this because ... Germany. As much as I tell my husband I am the tribute and he doesn't need to do any of the above I still find shitty water in his brush holder (yes we have separate restrooms in Germany - fight me) indicating that he is using that brush as is. He says it is rude to not use it and I think it is an absolute travesty he cannot un-train himself and let me clean how I am used to. The only compromise we have made is that he is responsible for replacing his brush at minimum four times a year. If I had my way I would burn it every single time he used it without using cleaner.

And yes I am taking into account that European toilets have light and heavy flush flow for environmental reasons and some older toilets have "shelves" making it harder to make big business flush away. I know it is in poor taste to "courtesy flush" as we do in the states as multiple flushes mean higher water expenses and more overall waste. I know it is unsettling for a German to leave behind a trail of whatever even if someone offers to clean it. It's more or less a respectful thing to use the brush. BUT........ it is more respectful to let the home or business dictate how they want their spaces to be cleaned and why should any guest bend over with shitty hands and scrub a toilet???? I am obliged to enter that room hours after its use in large disposable gloves and bleach the hell out of everything. That is my choice and I know when I am done that it is safe in there. I don't know what you did. I don't want you touching that brush handle. I don't want you then touching the flush button, the door knob and sitting back down at my dinner party table. How dare you!

So I cringe.

I try not to use public restrooms unless they are paid and I see someone cleaning it. Then I know toilet water mit gravy isn't trickled over the seat. I try to ask people are they going to poop in my guest bathroom and offer to clean it before they enter it. Now I would like to remove the brush completely but that would be unfair. So now when I have an extended guest I place a bottle of toilet bowl cleaner there and ask that they use it. I also supply a large bottle of grossly overpriced Aesop hand soap which is so thick and pleasant smelling most people wash twice because they can't rinse it off and they want to bathe in its scent. In hotels I am NOT cleaning but courtesy flushing, declining daily housekeeping and leaving a generous tip at check out so that there are no complaints about me being a dirty American. My German husband and I have come to some understanding thanks to this Wikipedia entry on the subject. And this post is my first and only attempt to make people understand because talking always leads to an argument on cleanliness, laziness and Godliness.


So yeah everything is disgusting and oof.