Montag Blues

 

@sirjoancornella

Montag Blues

Now almost thirty days of an election as well as a month into this lockdown - I want to die. I do not have the fatigue of staying indoors, or hearing the same news over and over or having to cook every single thing in this house. I am more or less thinking I am missing out on something. I am also seeing things with different eyes. I go out once or twice a week with a plan. I limit my intake on social media and statistics of infections and deaths. Then I put on my coat and notice things I really shouldn't. I saw a rat in Aldi today. Old people are always touching everything - the walls in the hallway, the bananas and all of the prospekte. My husband is not reacting to the graph showing the curve and he's a damn engineer. The lady at the Penny never gives me my payback double points. I guess I am getting more irritated with the double standards of mediocrity and strife during Corona. My mother is never at home anymore claiming if she stays indoors she will lay down and die. I see a lot of friends in Tulum, Mexico living their best lives ohne Maske. We have not really cracked into the beans that we stocked up on all summer but my husband has already expressed that he doesn't want anymore. I would like to be in Mexico too. I would like to forget that everything is happening. I would like to stop gasping at the numbers ... in my head. Most of all I would just like to sit on an airplane going anywhere but here and eat shitty food someone else made. I would like to use a pool. Any pool will do it doesn't have to be a five star resort or anything. Alas, this isn't Florida so no one we know or could get to know has a private pool. I am propagating celery in the fensterbank now because we don't have a balcony or backyard. I want to vape on the front porch, I want to grow succulents and I want to go roller skating really, really bad. I do not smoke, my thumb is black and there are no roller skating rinks in all of Germany (ich denke). I am exhausted with doing nothing. My remote work is on an involuntary pause. The weather sucks. It has been two weeks in two worlds and no one has said anything about what is to come. Pike Momeo is galavanting Europe and the Middle East. The salad bar is now back open at the Rewe City. My neighbor keeps trying to share the elevator with me. All these bikes are outside covered in cobwebs and leaves. I wonder are these people apart of that curve? Ughhh at least there are advent calendars, wearing red and calendars tomorrow.