My Husband Shopped at Metro (So You Don't Have To)

My Husband Shopped at Metro (So You Don't Have To)

So apparently, allegedly Metro is open to the public for a limited time. I find this to be very contradictory. Germany was all about harassing everyone over the idea of Hamsterkäufen. There are so many think pieces, videos and IG's created solely to spread an equal mix of propaganda and scrutiny. Then someone gets the bright idea to open up a bulk restaurant supply store so Germans can act like Americans too. The irony is a very small part of the American public have access to these types of stores. Those seen climbing the rails of pallets in Costco pay dearly to do that. Those are membership only stores where your annual dues lock in discounted pricing for bulk items. Most people who shop at Costco, Sams and BJ's have large families, businesses and or a disposable income. Metro is in a class of shopping the majority of American's will never see because only licensed business professionals can shop in what Germans consider to be Profi shops. The wonderment is that the average Herr Mueller or Frau Mueller can shop at any of these sorts of places with no credentials all the time. Anyone in Germany is entitled to buy professional knives, bulk foods, salon use only developer and acrylic dips whenever they please. The only exceptions are Anuga and Metro. Anuga being the biannual trade food show in Köln and Metro Deutschland GmbH aka wholesale foods. Otherwise, the smaller restaurant suppliers are open to the public with zero exceptions allowing small businesses to operate with no middle man and for snobby hausfrauen like me to buy a whole salmon on any given Tuesday. Since I am stuck in purgatory for a TBD time mein Mann has taken one for the team and gone to Metro.

He had sent me several links to Metro's fliers/circulars/prospekte to review before his trip. I was impressed by the photos which featured lovely shinny images of paprika and aubergine. The products seemed interesting like flavored dessert creams you just blended up and those hanging vats of pommes salat creme you see at wurst stands. I was kind of excited hoping he could buy some useless shit for us to claim we had at least taken advantage of the offer. I mean there was no way he was going there and buying like fifteen kilos of steak or to get toilet paper. While they did sell high quality paper and cleaning products as well as bulk and fine foods I don't think that was the point in opening up to mere mortals and muggles. It was so people had access to more food like pastas, grains, packaged meats and large quantities of water during this unprecedented quarantine. But the gag is ... it was a total waste of everyones time. Metro is just as if not more depleted than every other grocer in Germany. The displays or selection are no better than any flagship Rewe or Edeka. The offerings are exactly the same as everywhere deemed special including the overpriced Mexican products, sad shellfish and over saturation of Haribo. The only perks would be huge vacuum packed filets, a plethora of take away plastics and very cheap alcohol & spirits. Everything else was totally contrived, redundant and extremely overpriced down to the exotic Heinz sauces. I was so fucking disappointed and amused. I wasn't missing anything as per usual with most extraordinary German affairs. Doch.

Now the only thing my husband failed to photograph or comment on was the produce which is what I was sitting on pins and needles begging to see. I trust him so it was either really shitty or nothing to waste a WhatsApp discussion on. Ultimately, I fell asleep mid live tweet session and he called several times to see if there was anything I would want for my trip back home. There was absolutely nothing I couldn't live without. Frankly, I have bought more practical nonsense here in the States. I plan to smuggle back half sheet pans, vanilla extract, real tea and spices via suitcase and even with extra baggage costs it still seems cheaper than this oddity named Metro. I see why the restaurants in Germany are so bad now. I mean if they too are buying mass produced frozen finger foods and sad excuses for Mexican food what should we expect beyond corn filled chili cheese covered explorations on authenticity. For now if I want a big slab of 80€ meat or an industrial can of weißbohen I can get that at Mare Atlantico down the street from my house. I don't need to waste gas and a N95 to do that at Shamtro.

Wir Probieren.