Texas or Bavaria


Texas or Bavaria

No, this is not another announcement about the 9€ ticket. I am really exhausted by that saturation. Now no one is riding the trains to avoid the everyone that was indulged. I am talking about gun culture, safety and policy in Germany. Yes, guns are in Germany. Surprisingly, most people act like they do not know that or at least I hope they were acting. But what happened in Texas can happen here. Maybe it won't be as swift or as tolerated. But it is possible for many reasons. 

First, have you ever encountered a German that has resided in Texas? I surely have on too many occasions. It seems as if every German man, woman and child did a student exchange program in which they were transported to Texas for a year in high school. This is what assisted them in language proficiency and southern hospitality. However, Texans have a a dialect and the manners of cowboys in the wild, Wild West. Surely, Texas is both southern and midwest but there are attributes that are just Texan. So why would anyone go there for an overview of the American way of life? And how could you come back here and attempt to ruin Mexican food and avoid the Spanish language? Oh, it might have something to do with a hatred for Mexican culture and a disgusting plague of Americanized Tex-Mex food. This explains everything. 

Now there is Bavaria also known as the Texas of Germany. A partition of sorts. The Pakistan of India. The Bretagne of the French. The Florida man in Florida. A vast, open space of trees, castles and outsiders masquerading as Deutscher. Seriously, most of the Americans inquiring about "homestead" in Deutschland are strictly interested in Bavaria. First, because it is more expensive and Americans really like wasting money. Then, because of guns. Because in Bavaria there is so much land there is a hunting and gun culture that rivals Texas. It allows any Republican with buyers remorse to pick up and move to a similar climate, demo and landscape that continues to support gun rights. Drump supporters and Germans alike feel Bavaria is free of the problems of the Hamburgs and Berlins. That it is too remote and expensive for brown and Black people be they refugees or expats. Ukrainians do not count. They can live anywhere they please, no questions asked. I however, need to go to the other building, to explain why I have been here for five years. I am still an outsider ... forever. Anyways, back to the guns.

Overall in Germany there is a fear and comfort that allows people to believe their entire land is gun free. The fear is strong about America and their guns. The comfort brings a sort of arrogance and ambivalence around an issue that most Germans think is non-existent here. Unlocked doors, open windows, purses abandoned in grocery carts and cash is king. There is no second thought about a man with a gun trying to take ones possessions or life. There is no imagining of safeguarding ones family and residence with a gun "just in case". The children go to school and while most public institutions in Germany look like fucking jails, it is quite easy to waltz onto any campus or in any school building. Hell, you can play sports at the local gymnasium, observe a lecture at a uni or stop for a snack at the mensa. It is confusing all this freedom and disillusion, especially to an American who is used to protecting everything at both ends. From locking our children up eight hours a day to arming the alarm and unlocking the gun case eight hours at night. We expect to fight fire with fire. We stay ready. Meanwhile, Germany is just sleep walking in yesteryear of all trust.

It is as if the news isn't broadcasting the new wave of crime from terrorism, to petty theft, to scam calls to actual gun violence here. In the likes of Mainz there are gun shops. While you have to do a lot to purchase and possess a firearm in Germany it isn't rocket science. My husband claims it is a hassle so no will try. But there are nine neighboring countries, a black market and 3D printers. Guns aren't entirely inaccessible. Americans can travel with their firearms as long as they jump through the right bureaucratic hoops and they are jumping. They are doing all sorts of weird crap to carry and shoot their guns Texas style in Bavaria. They are digging through ancestry records to claim a great grandparent was German. They are getting cheap master degrees to avoid language requirements in the immigration process. They are bringing their hunting dogs over as emotional support animals to save $200. They are using nepotism to find a non-German house on a plot of land in "South Germany". They are looking for military contacts who can show them the "right" community of homes that meet their American tastes. They are packing up their washer and dryers and hoping a converter will do the trick. If America is trying to take away their guns and freedom. Germany is a safe haven with lush greenery and white people not just like home but better than. It is just a matter of time when one of those cowboys get angry enough to exercise their rights. After all, Deutschland is a free country too.